Previously on single ladies... I'm saying if you like it,
then put a ring on it.
If not, let's stop wasting each other's time.
You're in quite a few chapters in my book.
You print any lies about me and you'll be sorry.
Even with all that hairspray, I knew I was gonna propose to you.
I'm having an affair.
Oh, hell no.
You doing the mayor?
Is that his wife?
That's her.
You can't cook.
I know how to cook.
Which one of these hatsakes me look cool enough to ask you
on a date?
I'm not stealing no jewelry, no nothin' for nobody.
I can get like 20, 30 gs for this, though.
That watch was one of a kind.
You best believe I'm gonna find out who stole it.
I want to do something different.
Single Ladies - 01x02 - Cry Me a River
♪ single ♪
♪ ladies ♪
♪ you can't get my love ♪
♪ I know you want it ♪
♪ you want it ♪
♪ single ♪
where my single ladies at?
♪ don't need your sad face ♪
♪ sorry baby ♪
♪ but I made up my mind ♪
♪ I made up my mind ♪
♪ don't need a rerun ♪
♪ been there, done ♪
So I don't usually gossip because it's tacky, but I was at
a bar in midtown last night and I saw Val with a busted dude
hiding way back in a dark corner.
No way.
She didn't tell us she had a date.
Come to think of it, she has been oddly quiet all morning.
What are you guys talking about?
You.
Heard you were creepin' last night.
How?
Who saw me?
Mm-hmm.
Give up the dirt.
Ever since Quinn and I broke up, my mother has been trying to
fix my love life.
If I hear one more time how she's never gonna have any
grandchildren, I'm gonna scream.
She's setting you up on dates?
Oh, no.
Well, I found the solution to my problem.
Coupleus.com.
I've already read some very promising profiles.
Val, you can't trust online dating profiles.
I got five of 'em going right now that say I'm taller, better
educated, and hung like a horse.
Only two of those are true.
Eyes up, Keisha.
It's not for you.
Well, I say go for it.
I mean, if a man's gonna lie, he's gonna lie in person or on
the website.
Look at the mayor.
He said that I was the only one and then I find out that there's
all these other women.
I mean, can you believe that?
No, I would never believe the man who was cheating on his wife
would sink so low as to cheat on his mistress.
It kills me when the other woman actually gets offended
when she finds out there's another other woman.
This conversation was a lot more fun when we were picking on
Val.
I can't wait to go on dates.
I'll already know if I'm compatible with these guys
before I meet them because we've checked all the same boxes.
It's brilliant.
We can get all the bad stuff out of the way and just fall in
love.
But that is the bad stuff.
If you fall in love, you're gonna get hurt.
Who among us hasn't been crushed by love?
I am shocked at the level of cynicism in this room.
You know, I'm the one who just came out of a five-year
relationship and look at me now.
Back on the horse and ready to go.
Val, I don't blame you for trying online dating, but that's
just not my cup of tea.
That's 'cause you can't put "I'm a gold digger" in your profile.
Okay, you're getting a little too free with that label, so let
me set the record straight.
I want a guy like my father.
He knew how to treat the two most important women in his life.
Me and my mother were well taken care of.
But why does a man have to do anything for you?
Why can't you earn your own money?
And I ain't talking about your little gambling addiction,
Keisha.
Omar, I know you admire me and you want to be me, but the
reality is, I make poker work for me so I won't have to work
for anyone else, and I've made more in one night than you'll
see all year.
So you could make all that money on your own, then why do
you need a rich man?
Because my money is my money and his money will be our
money, dummy.
Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
This is probably not the best place to have this conversation.
I'm sorry, I'm looking for the owner.
What are you talking about?
Uh, nothing.
I-I thought you were someone else.
So, Val?
Yeah?
Uh, Val is there.
There, back there.
Mm-hmm.
Bye.
Bye, guys.
Hi, we met at my grand opening.
You're the mayor's wife.
Oh, these days, I'd prefer to just be called Jennifer, please.
Of course.
How can I help you?
You can start by telling your friend to stop screwing my
husband.
A friend of mine had a dress that you designed that I love.
So with everything that's happening, I was hoping you
could design something.
She got to look good when she disses him on Barbara waiters.
Shh.
You know what?
I have some new pieces in back that would look amazing on you.
I'll take your measurements.
Hey, how are you?
♪ ♪
Mr. Franks?
I'm Ann.
It's nice to meet you.
And you must be Mrs. Franks.
I must be.
Yeah, we were, uh... we were actually headed to dinner when
my buddy cald and said we should swing by and check it
out, so thanks for waiting.
Not a problem.
There's just another couple over there on their way out, so, uh,
I will start you guys upstairs.
After you, wifey.
Thank you, hubby.
So, how did you two lovebirds meet?
I was at the bellagio in Vegas, playing poker, doing what I do.
She likes to gamble.
I like to win.
And I was doing that all night when this fine, chocolate
brother sat down next to me in his Armani suit.
And I was headed up to my room when I saw her and, oh, she
was so beautiful.
I mean, so beautiful that I had to come play with her.
I was up $15,000.
I was all in.
I had four of a kind.
But I had a straight flush.
No, you took her money?
Oh, every dime.
But I was a gentleman.
I took her to dinner afterwards.
And now I can't get rid of him.
Oh, excuse me.
I'll just be a minute.
Y'all can check out the ballroom.
Thank you.
Hmm.
All games aside, I'm glad I walked over to your table that
night.
You know, I can't believe that was three months ago.
Hmm.
Come on, let's go get lost.
Mm-mm.
Oh, see, I don't like this part of the game.
What part?
The part that keeps me from knowing what it's like to be
with you, Keisha.
That's what part.
Malcolm, as charming as you are... mm-hmm.
Our first time won't be a quickie in a mansion you're
buying for someone else.
Fair enough.
But then you gotta do me a favor.
When you know you're gonna be seeing me... Hmm?
Try not to look so damn good.
Huh, okay.
So, do you take all your women to help you pick out estates for
your family?
When I like them.
Oh.
So how many houses are you looking at these days?
Oh, just this one, Keisha, just this one.
I know what I want.
And how about you, Keisha?
When's the last time you went house hunting?
Huh.
I'm always on the lookout.
But rarely do I find them with the style and quality of this
one.
Well, isn't the house perfect?
Oh, I'm gonna tell you after I see downstairs.
Oh, hey!
Hey.
I thought you went out tonight.
I can't be available all the time.
Mystique is part of the game, baby.
Right.
What are you doing up?
Going through my coupleus. Com mail.
It's so much fun.
Look at this guy.
Cute.
"I picked out my wedding colors, dress, and location."
"all that's missing is you.
L-o-l."
how long you been chatting with him?
Five or ten minutes.
I put "l-o-l."
you can't give a guy all that information too soon.
You gotta know when to hold and when to fold.
Jeez.
Keisha, think about it.
I've had two serious relationships in my life.
I've never had to play these stupid games.
Besides, if I want something, why can't I just say it?
And I want love, damn it.
Yes, but in the meantime, go out and get you some.
I can't just have random sex.
It has to mean something.
Sometimes it means you're horny.
Sometimes it means rent.
Sometimes it means a new pair of shoes and a bag.
How much meaning do you need?
I want the fairy tale.
I want my prince to come in and sweep me off my feet.
That's the difference between us.
You want the prince.
I want the castle.
And if I happen to fall in love with the owner of that castle,
then I'm sure I'll appreciate it.
So how are you and Malcolm doing anyway?
Really good, actually.
Plus, he hasn't mentioned the watch and I haven't heard
from Jasmine.
So I think that chapter of my life is closed.
Look at you.
All smiley just talking about him.
So haven't you made him wait long enough?
When are you gonna, you know?
I can't go there yet.
I gotta play this one right.
Always a game.
You like Malcolm.
That's the real reason why you won't sleep with him.
I know my best friend.
When you're feeling a guy, you don't give it up.
That's backwards.
Why wouldn't I give it up to someone I really like?
Baby, that is for you and your therapist to figure out.
I'm going to bed.
Ooh!
Where were you?
Baby, we talked about this earlier.
I had lunch with Val and then I had to work late.
No, no.
No, where were you just now?
Because I was inside you and you couldn't have been
further from me.
Darryl... I'm right here, baby.
Come here.
Okay?
Come on. Let's just... let's just go to sleep.
♪ can you be my doctor? ♪
♪ can you fix me up? ♪
♪ can you wipe me down? ♪
♪ so I can, I can ♪
♪ make you give it up ♪
♪ give it up ♪
♪ till you say my name ♪
you guys are ridiculous.
You did not have to chaperone me.
Like we'll let you come to your first online date without
backup.
Yeah, if this guy's wack, you just text us and we'll rush
over and say your sister's in labor.
Val.
Michael?
Hi. [Giggles]
your profile pictures are amazing, but in person, you're
unbelievable.
Oh. [Giggles]
I saw you right when I walked in the door.
Excuse me for being rude.
How are you ladies this evening?
Fine.
Well, shall we find a table?
Yes! Please.
I was just saying goodbye to my friends.
Their sister's in labor.
Ladies.
Oh, my God.
I hate to be cliche, but he could get it.
Mm-hmm.
Good evening, we're getting breaking news tonight about yet
another woman, Haley themas, who's come forward claiming she
also was one of mayor Trevor Howard's mistresses.
This is now the sixth woman in two weeks to make this claim.
Again, this is a developing story just on the wire.
We will keep following it and bringing you information
as it comes in.
So you can hear my Bronx accent?
Come on.
I grew up in Brooklyn.
You could have a mouth full of food and I'd still hear home.
I love it.
Oh, I can't believe we were both at nyu at the same time.
Small world.
I'm sorry if I keep staring, but you got a brother thinking
he just won the lottery over here or something.
You're so sweet.
I was so nervous.
You are officially my first online date ever.
I thought it would be weird and awkward, but I already feel
so comfortable with you.
Yeah, I'm pleasantly surprised too.
Aw.
You're so well mannered and articulate.
It's refreshing.
Honestly, I didn't expect it.
I guess it proves that it's... it's okay to experiment sometimes.
I'm sorry?
Well, as a rule, I don't date black women.
No offense.
It's just not my thing.
But you're black.
How could that not be your thing?
Black women tend to have attitudes, you know,
and sometimes you guys can be a little loud and sassy,
but you're not at all.
I mean, that's why I like you.
And the craziest part is that I don't even mind your hair.
It's actually nice.
Wait a minute.
Are you kidding me right now?
How can you look me in the face and say something like that?
Whoa, whoa, I just paid you a compliment, all right?
Chill out.
I jumped the gun on that one.
How is that a compliment?
I am assuming your parents are black, so no matter how many
times you dip your chocolate stick into some vanilla ice
cream, your children are gonna be black too.
And I just pray that your daughter isn't sitting across
from a sorry excuse for a brother like you.
Well, that didn't take long, did it?
Jackass.
Check, please!
Val.
What?
I got this.
Oh.
Dude, I think the date's over.
What do you think?
You're not getting an argument out of me, buddy.
You can have her.
And don't worry.
I left a tip.
The mayor just texted me and said to stop contacting him.
So what, like, that's it?
I mean, I knew that it wasn't gonna last forever, but I
thought it was a little special.
I know it hurts, but it's a blessing in disguise.
You have to distance yourself from him.
He's going down.
Who was that jerk anyway?
Someone I met on coupleus. Com.
What the hell?
You're a pretty girl.
How hard is it for you to meet somebody?
Better yet, how hard is it for you to pick up the phone
and call me?
You know what I think?
I think God is punishing you for kicking me to the curb again.
I didn't kick you to the curb.
You stopped calling.
Well, you stopped calling too.
Well, how about I start again?
How about I'm calling you right now and I'm asking you out on
another date?
Are you down?
Fine. Why not?
Wow.
Try to contain your excitement.
With that kind of enthusiasm, you might even get some flowers
out of me.
[please don't go by Mike posner]
♪ back to yesterday ♪
♪ safe tonight ♪
♪ I feel the sun creeping up ♪
♪ like tick-tock ♪
♪ I'm trying to keep you mine ♪
♪ but if not ♪
♪ we'll just keep running ♪
♪ from tomorrow ♪
♪ with our lips locked ♪
♪ yeah, you got me begging ♪
♪ begging ♪
♪ baby, please don't go ♪
♪ if I wake up tomorrow... ♪
♪ ♪
ah.
Hey, you.
What's wrong?
You got something you wanna tell me?
Malcolm, fishing for compliments is not your style,
but if you need to hear it, yeah... you do look good.
Hmm.
"me and Keisha Greene... were the hottest new girls in"
the business.
Everybody wanted us in their videos, everybody wanted to
party with us.
We used to tag team.
I'd get the boys in bed... and she would just get them...
For their cash, for their jewelry.
"We worked it."
that bitch.
She gave you this?
No, no, she didn't give it to me.
I got a hold of it and I just wanna know if what's in there is
true.
I don't know what's true or what's not.
I haven't read it.
But yeah... I've made some mistakes in the past.
Who hasn't?
Listen...before I got into the jewelry game with my dad,
I had me a little hustle too, okay, Keisha?
So let's just call the past the past.
What I'm interested in right now is the present.
Did you and Jasmine steal my watch off Cam'ron's set?
No.
I don't know what to believe, Keisha.
Then that makes two of us.
This is the manuscript.
So the question isn't how you got it.
It's why you got it.
Because I don't like folks like Jasmine who try to make a
buck off other people.
Therefore, the contents of that book will never see the light of
day.
Right. So there's something in here about you.
Ain't nothing in there about me.
Now what?
I don't know.
I do not know, but for some strange reason, I am still
intrigued by you.
Hmm. Want me to help you figure out why?
I'm listening.
I can show you better than I can tell you.
As tempting as that is and as bad as I want you, this
thing's got me twisted.
So I'ma fall back.
And I suggest you do the same.
Don't be like that.
You know you don't want me to go.
Kiss me.
What is it about you?
Why don't you find out?
♪ ♪
♪ ah ah ah ah ♪
♪ can't tell you how long ♪
♪ I've been wishing ♪
♪ for this moment to oh oh ♪
♪ oh with you ♪
♪ I wanna oh oh oh ♪
♪ with you ♪
♪ ♪
♪ when we're on the phone ♪
♪ you're giving me directions ♪
call 404-555-2987 today for your free starter Kit and get
ready to enjoy your warmer, healthier living room.
Operators are standing by now.
Hey, babe.
Hey.
You have fun tonight?
Well, it was okay.
Glad to be home.
Sit down.
Haven't seen you all day.
I'm just gonna wash my face and get comfortable.
I asked you to join me.
Okay.
I'd rather spend time with you, not you and the tv.
If you don't mind.
I do mind.
I'd like to watch the train wreck.
Hmm.
It's a shame when you have such high regard for a person and
they fall so short of your expectations.
Don't you agree?
Don't answer that.
Let's spend some of that time you just asked for.
They're now calling him "the player" mayor Howard.
Earlier this evening... oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Let me turn that up.
Claiming retaliation for being fired without just cause.
Mandy Cohen, Margaret o'connor, and April Goldberg-Jenkins now
bring the total to nine.
This is yet another unfortunate event in the story unfolding
about Atlanta's fallen hero.
Darryl, I can explain... don't you dare open your
mouth and tell me another lie!
Seven years.
Seven wasted years of honoring you and treating you like the
queen I thought you were and you're just a ho.
Baby, please... don't touch me with those hands that touched him!
Darryl, I don't even know they got that picture of me!
They must have photoshopped it or something.
It's a lie!
Darryl, please... photoshopped?
What am I, stupid?
I mean, I must be, because I've been here with you and who knows
who else you've been with!
How could you do this to me, April?
How could you do this to us?
But it's not true!
Darryl, you gotta believe me.
Oh, it isn't true?
See? I've been through your phone.
I've read your text messages from Trevor.
"I miss you.
Meet me tonight, baby."
is that why I have to believe you, April?
Just get out.
Get the hell out of this house.
I can't stand the sight of you.
Darryl...
Hi.
I know it's 2:00 in the morning, but I'm all over the news.
You're family.
I don't care what time it is.
Come in.
I've been calling you.
What happened with Darryl?
He must be out of his mind.
I almost don't even wanna know.
This is like my worst nightmare ever.
I mean, how could I do this to him?
I just wanna hide.
I knew this could happen.
I knew it.
What a mess.
Hey, I didn't know you guys brought the party back here.
But I'm glad you're up, 'cause I got something to tell you!
What happened?
She's all over the news.
Oh.
It's bad.
Okay, let me switch gears, because I had a good Malcolm story.
But that can obviously wait.
Mm-hmm.
This is a mess.
Okay, April, sit up.
We gotta think about what you gonna say.
Okay.
We gotta come up with a plan.
What? The plan is to tell the truth.
But, Val, he's gonna hate me.
I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't and I don't
wanna lose Darryl.
If you keep lying, you're just gonna add insult to injury
and that's exactly what could happen.
Darryl deserves the truth.
At least give him that.
In the meantime, you can stay here with us.
We have a really comfy couch.
♪ oh ♪
♪ I want you to lay back ♪
♪ and relax ♪
oh, it's about time you called.
How are you feeling?
I'm guessing whoever you gave it up to last night is feeling
like the man.
Read between the lines, Omar.
Val, you know I think workplace gossip is tacky, but
Keisha had sex last night.
I can tell.
Thank you.
You know what?
She did come home glowing.
April was falling apart and I couldn't get the details.
I think you're right.
Who you guys talking about?
You.
And how you could hold out on telling me news this huge.
How huge is it, by the way?
So you broke your own rule?
You slept with a guy you like?
That's a dumb rule.
I always sleep with the guys I like.
Details, please.
This is Malcolm.
It's what you've been waiting for.
Actually, I would've preferred to have waited a little longer.
I thought I was going over to just chill, but when I got there
he had a copy of Jasmine's manuscript.
And I was so scared I just went into survival mode.
So you slept with him as a diversion?
That's how it started.
But once we got into it, it turned into something very
different.
I hate to sound corny like you, but it really felt special.
Kind of magical in a way.
It felt so good I almost spent the night.
And you know I don't do that.
Why not?
You like him.
I do.
But that's just giving up too much power.
And besides, I didn't have a change of clothes and I wasn't
doing the walk of shame this morning.
What are you not telling me?
He hasn't called all day.
No.
Well, that's okay.
It's okay.
Because you know what, it's only... ooh.
Wow, it's 4:00.
Maybe he's still asleep.
Or working.
Do you have service?
Because sometimes in this spot, I don't know get any reception.
Mm, I have four bars, Val.
He'll call.
Yeah.
He will.
I'm not worried.
Mm-mm.
He's just playing his little game.
Mm-hmm.
Oh.
This can't be good.
Val, can I speak to you in private?
Sure.
Did you know?
Let me be more specific.
When I came into the store that day looking for April, did you
know she was with him?
Darryl, please don't put me in the middle of this.
It's a little late for that.
Do I need to remind you that you and I were friends first?
That you slept on my couch in college when you got evicted?
That you introduced me to April?
We've always looked out for each other, Val.
This whole situation is so messed up, I don't even know
what to say.
You could've given me a heads up, a warning!
That's what a real friend does.
Instead of helping to make me look like a damn fool.
It was hard.
I love both of you.
I wish I didn't know anything.
Darryl, I am so sorry.
Yeah.
You definitely are that... sorry.
That's unfair.
Yee-haw!
Whoo!
Thank you for coming to my rescue again.
But I have to admit, I didn't expect floors covered in sawdust
and peanut shells.
You said you needed to escape and this is one of my
favorite places.
It's so good that we're both our own bosses.
We can do this in the middle of the day and not get fired.
Cheers to that.
Cheers.
Can I ask you a question?
Oh, boy.
Another Val question.
All right, we covered the race thing.
I already told you I lost my virginity to my babysitter.
And, yes, I think about you all the time.
Oh!
That's so sweet.
But, no, it's a hypothetical scenario.
Okay, say you're friends with a couple, right?
And one of them starts to cheat.
Are you obligated to tell the one who's being cheated on?
Well, that depends on who's cheating.
Was it the guy or the girl?
What difference does that make?
Because guys don't tell on other guys.
If my guy friend was cheating on his girl, I can't tell.
But if my guy's girl was cheating on him, I'm definitely
telling.
That's the code for guys, even if I know both of them.
That's an idiotic double standard.
I mean, you're basing it on gender instead of who's right or
wrong.
Oh, it is absolutely bros before hos.
That's what you did, right?
No.
Except in your "hypothetical case," April was the bro and
Darryl was the ho.
So really, you think the same idiotic way.
Let's change the subject.
Why?
'cause you know I'm right?
I'm going to ride the bull.
Okay.
[redneck woman by Gretchen wilson]
enjoy.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
♪ no, I can't swig ♪
♪ that sweet champagne ♪
♪ I'd rather drink beer ♪
♪ all night ♪
♪ in a tavern ♪
♪ or in a honky tonk ♪
♪ or on a four-wheel drive ♪
♪ tailgate ♪
♪ I've got posters on my wall ♪
♪ of skynyrd, kid, and strait ♪
♪ some people look down on me ♪
♪ but I don't give a rip ♪
Whoo!
♪ with a baby on my hip ♪
♪ 'cause I'm a redneck woman ♪
♪ I ain't no high-class broad ♪
♪ I'm just a product of ♪
♪ my raising, I say ♪
♪ "hey y'all" and "yee-haw" ♪
ah!
♪ on my front porch ♪
♪ all year long ♪
♪ and I know all the words ♪
♪ to every Charlie Daniels... ♪
Whoo!
You feel better now?
Yes!
Everyone else got knocked off.
I mastered it my first time.
Yeah, I hate to burst your bubble, but you see the guy
behind the controls?
Yeah!
He wants every girl with big boobs to stay on the whole ride.
It's a crowd-pleaser.
Perverts!
You need to lighten up.
You get irritated too easily.
No, I don't.
You know what, maybe you're just irritating.
Maybe I just think that you're...
♪ no I don't need ♪
♪ no designer tag ♪
♪ to make my man want me ♪
maybe I'm just a good kisser.
Yes.
You are a good kisser.
But we're not supposed to be kissing.
I told you I don't want a bed buddy, I want a life buddy.
So can we please just take it slow?
You're not exactly a take it slow kind of girl.
I mean, come on, who are we kidding?
You gave it up on the first night.
Oh, that did not come out right.
I'm sorry.
You know what, let's call this date quits before I call
you something else.
Val... ♪ keeping it country ♪
♪ let me get a big hell yeah ♪
♪ from the redneck girls ♪
♪ like me ♪
can we talk for a second?
I did lie.
I was having an affair with mayor Howard.
I know it's not any consolation, but he was the only one.
And I... I know that you probably don't believe me, but it's true.
You're right on all accounts.
I don't believe you... and it's no consolation.
I understand.
Baby, I'm sorry.
Don't call me that.
And do I need to get tested for anything?
I know I deserve your coldness right now...
But I just want you to know how much I love you and I hope that
you can just find it in your heart to forgive me, because I
want to salvage our marriage.
And, Darryl, I am willing to do whatever it takes for us to just
get back to the way that we used to be.
How much longer are you gonna be?
For the record, Val was just trying to be a good friend to
both of us and for whatever it's worth, she had your back.
I was just too stupid to lis...
Okay.
Now I'm pissed.
Why?
Because it's a slow day?
It's been three days.
I'm tired of making excuses for Malcolm.
Why can't he just pick up the phone and call?
Men.
Yeah, I don't get what he's doing.
Have you tried calling him?
I've called and I've texted, but what I won't do is Chase
any man.
Keisha, I know I always tease you, but even I wouldn't do you
like that.
I'm sorry.
Thank you.
You guys, I'm good.
I'm not tripping.
But damn, can at least one of us not have guy issues right now?
All mine are behaving.
Can I help you?
Can we talk?
I'm sorry for what I said.
It was rude.
I was tipsy.
I didn't have my censor on.
Okay, so if you were sober, you still would have thought it,
you just wouldn't have said it.
I understand.
Val, believe me.
I respect you and I understand why you did what you did.
We've all had rebound sex.
I was a jerk for pointing it out.
You're only saying that because you want to sleep with me again.
I definitely want to sleep with you again, but only because
I really like you.
So what?
You gave it up on the first night.
That just lets me know that you know what you want out of life.
Did you just quote outkast?
Hey, if it works, I'll quote anyone.
So are we cool?
Because I don't like you being mad at me.
Maybe.
Ooh.
I'm not that easy... friend.
Oh, okay.
I'm back in the friend zone.
That's cool.
Good.
I like a challenge.
Okay.
[best of my love by the emotions]
Mmm.
That's my song.
Ha-ha!
Come on, Omar.
♪ ♪
♪ doesn't take much to... ♪
come on, pouty face.
Mmm.
That's enough.
Yeah.
♪ never never will I feel ♪
♪ discouraged ♪
♪ 'cause our love's no mystery ♪
♪ demonstrating love ♪
♪ and affection ♪
♪ that you give so openly ♪
♪ I like the way you make me ♪
♪ feel about you baby ♪
I'm sorry to interrupt the party.
I just came to pick up my dress.
Okay, I'll go get it for you.
Oh, no.
Please forgive me.
I don't know the exact protocol for when I run into one of my
husband's whores.
Did it mean anything to you that you were sleeping with a married
man?
We have children.
And now I have to clean up the mess that you made.
Do you want to put that on your card?
Don't get me wrong.
I blame Trevor because he broke his commitment to me.
But I have no respect for women like you who recklessly tear
through other women's lives.
How do you sleep at night, Hmm?
Well, you should have kept your legs closed then like you're
keeping your mouth closed now.
♪ easy come easy go ♪
here you go.
♪ oh take take take it all ♪
♪ but you never give ♪
♪ should have known ♪
♪ you was trouble ♪
♪ from the first kiss ♪
♪ had your eyes wide open ♪
♪ why were they open? ♪
♪ gave you all I had ♪
♪ and you tossed it ♪
♪ in the trash ♪
♪ you tossed it in the trash ♪
oh!
That was so sweet.
Did you see how he ran to her just to get that kiss at midnight?
That's what I want.
Or a man in uniform to carry me off the factory floor to the
cheers and applause of my co-workers.
Okay, I'm revoking your netflix card.
When Harry met Sally.
Please.
Why don't they tell you how it really goes down?
Like when Malcolm met Keisha, then slept with her and didn't
call for days.
The end.
He's gonna call.
I wasn't saying that to get sympathy.
I'm like jay-z.
I'm on to the next one.
I don't live in a fantasy world like Val.
Okay, it was naive of me to think I could find my perfect
match on a dating website.
Because even if he's perfect on paper, he's still gonna have
faults, but in the end, it is worth the risk.
Guys, seriously.
We have watched every happy, sappy love story.
We have examined relationships from every conceivable angle.
I mean, can we just please give love and men a rest tonight?
I mean, there's got to be something else worth talking
about, right?
That's right.
Why don't we do something different and exciting?
We should go skydiving.
That'd be fun.
I'm in.
One of the guys I met online owns his own skydiving company.
He was so sexy.
I should email him.
No.
That would be too desperate, right?
Wow, really?
That was maybe ten seconds and I'm being generous.
Just acknowledge that we did try.
Fine.
Pull up the skydiver boy's profile and we'll vote on
whether he's cute enough for you.
Ooh, yeah.
Right?
Yummy.
Ooh.
That's the part I love right... that's money right there.
♪ boys boys boys ♪
♪ I got your number boy ♪
♪ I'll call when I need you ♪
♪ that's how I like it ♪